Sehnsucht
I want something but I don't know what it is. I have eaten. I drank water. I slept. But I am still ravenous. There is something inside of me that wants, and wants, and wants. Sometimes I am able to keep myself distracted enough that I don't hear its clamor and sometimes even when I do, I'm just too numb to care. But it's still there, growling, "Is this all there is?" "You're running out of time." "You are not enough." "You are LACKING." And I think about how old I am and what is happening in the world around me and I wonder what else I'm supposed to be feeling right now. There is so much beauty and love and suffering and despair in this plane. I want to absorb and absolve all of it, but it surrounds me like a vast sea that I'll never be able to drink. Someone died. Someone was born. Others just exist in the liminal horror of the 9-5. The cycle restarts at irregular intervals, and I wat...