Beautiful

      Wet evening Water hemlock, or something. Pretty, but deadly.  One of those moments when you go to smell or handle a flower and suddenly realize there's a bug on it!  The evening sky spread hazily over me as I left the driveway and walked quickly up the road. I was tired, but mentally so; I still had the physical energy to go exploring. And even more than energy, I felt the evening was literally yanking me out of the house. It had just rained, the intense humidity of the afternoon had eased, and the sun was spearing through yellow streaks just above the pines. The air was calm, and the sound of a distant airplane hummed above my sharp footsteps.         After following the road for a few hundred feet, I stopped and hesitantly surveyed the tall grass and weeds up the hillside on my left. Wet grass mildly deters me, but the wilderness was calling, and I couldn’t resist. With a sigh, I hopped over the muddy ditch, and push...

I wrote down this conversation a few months ago, when I was going through a difficult time. I took the specific details of my situation out to make this conversation more applicable to others. Although He was speaking to me, I'm sure He would say the same thing to you, if you are also fighting to trust. Sometimes we have to get to the point of desperation before we start to be real with God. It may seem like disrespect, and you may fear that He will respond in anger, but He won't.  Always remember that Jesus loves to have REAL conversations with us about the very things we struggle with. Jesus' words, as I heard them, are written in italics in this conversation.  (I know it probably seems like my life is always in chaos, but it's really mostly internal. I am just sharing how Jesus helps me when I am struggling. Externally, my life is very blessed. My fight is in the mind.) Lord Jesus, I don’t want to write, because my thoughts are so dark that it’s fright...