Way to Be

 Want to be a balanced individual? 

I know you do; nobody wants to be imbalanced. However, in the youthful and momentous struggle to figure out what kind of person you are and if that matches up with who you want to be, it's all too hard to find balance. 

If you are like me, you have experienced the pendulum swing from one opposite pole to the other, in terms of thought processes, lifestyle choices, reactions to life, and more. First you feel really strongly in favor of a belief, and then you turn around and do the complete opposite thing. You realize you are not being consistent, but you're not sure how to get there.

How do you get to be a balanced person? 

Personally, I have no idea how I'm coming across unless someone tells me. Because of that, I ask my friends to tell me what areas of my character I need to work on.

But what if the feedback you are getting (whether wanted or unwanted) only confuses you? 

Here's what I've decided, after many hours of thought and stress.
I can either spend my days worrying about how I'm coming across and if people like me, or I can plunge on, heedless of anyone's opinion. 

Or, I can look at Jesus.

Here's some light:

When the mind dwells upon self, it is turned away from Christ, the source of strength and life. Hence it is Satan's constant effort to keep the attention diverted from the Saviour and thus prevent the union and communion of the soul with Christ. The pleasures of the world, life's cares and perplexities and sorrows, the faults of others, or your own faults and imperfections--to any or all of these he will seek to divert the mind. 

Do not be misled by his devices.  

Many who are really conscientious, and who desire to live for God, he too often leads to dwell upon their own faults and weaknesses, and thus by separating them from Christ he hopes to gain the victory.  

We should not make self the center and indulge anxiety and fear as to whether we shall be saved. All this turns the soul away from the Source of our strength. Commit the keeping of your soul to God, and trust in Him. Talk and think of Jesus. Let self be lost in Him. Put away all doubt; dismiss your fears. Say with the apostle Paul, "I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave Himself for me." Galatians 2:20. Rest in God. He is able to keep that which you have committed to Him. If you will leave yourself in His hands, He will bring you off more than conqueror through Him that has loved you. 

 {Steps to Christ, pg. 71.2}

So that's what I can do when I start worrying about myself or criticizing other people. 

But here are some words coming from one who has been burned by well-meaning Adventists.

When you see someone doing something you don't agree with, please don't consider it your moral duty to make them aware of it. If Jesus had done that, He would have been rebuking people all the time! 

When I was growing up, one of the churches my dad pastored was populated by a great majority of ultra conservatives. They were the people who wore turtle-necks in the the summertime, to "keep their extremities properly clad", who would never so much as handle cheese, and who were very zealous about telling everyone around them about the health message. The friends I made there convinced me that I was fat, rebellious, and also seductive (because they caught me wearing pants), all by the time I was 12 years old. Every time I saw them, they tried to get me to go canvassing with them, and every Sabbath, we had a lesson taught by one of their fathers, who felt it was his duty to instruct us about lifestyle issues (none of which I really cared about, since I was so young).

I learned to hate Scripture songs, Ellen White, Bible studies, evangelism, sermons, hymns, canvassing, the health message, dress reform, and anything else associated with conservative Adventism. I learned to believe that unless I was underweight, I was not acceptable. I also got it in my head that I was a wild, untamable person who wasn't spiritual and didn't really love God.

Sadly, I wasn't the only kid who came home crying after spending time at that church, but as the pastor's daughter, I had to go there. 

The concept of holiness was hateful to me. 

Was that the intent of the well-meaning church members? 

Maybe they thought that Jesus would come sooner if they faithfully warned the brethren. 

Maybe they expected God to tell them, "Well done, my good and faithful servant." 

Maybe they had other issues that their "holy" exterior was covering. 

Whatever the case, the ungracious, unloving rebukes of others made deep wounds on my heart that have taken many years to even begin to heal.

So here's what I've been discovering.

Read Genesis 1:27. It says that humans, male and female, are created in the image of God.
Every Adventist knows this, but how does that knowledge translate into action?

I could be wrong, but if we are not displaying the image of God, we are perverted, or distorted, even if we are technically doing what we are supposed to. God is love, and love is not something that anyone can put on; it has to be genuine. If we are not full of the love of God, we are not displaying His image, no matter what we do. We are not even fulfilling our purpose as human beings, much less as Christians or even Adventists.

Jesus, God, did not go around rebuking his peers, constantly preaching present truth (to the exclusion of everyday living), go knocking on doors to make sure that He was following the gospel commission, or hide Himself from people who were not "present truth" to avoid being tempted.

Jesus lived to love. He lived to share His Father's love. He more often rebuked people by his example than by His words. When He did rebuke, it was from a heart of love, and I'm sure the people He rebuked knew they were loved, though they had done wrong. 

I won't elaborate, but you get the point.

If you are worrying about your behavior, or constantly annoyed by the behavior of others, look to Jesus.

If you feel compelled to rebuke someone, please look to Jesus. Pray for the person you think needs to change. You don't need to be the Holy Spirit. Only speak to them when you know you are actuated by genuine God-love for their soul. God never scars a heart He doesn't intend to heal.

Simply put, the best way to be a balanced individual is to look to Jesus, let His love fill your heart, and cooperate with His Holy Spirit in loving others. That's what Jesus did, and I think He's the Best Example ever.