A Christian Girl Asks Questions: On Beauty and Godliness
So I've been moving around quite a lot lately, and will be for the next couple of weeks. I've been in Arkansas, Alabama and Tennessee, and I'll soon be in Florida, Kentucky, back to Arkansas, and then Utah! Whew! That's a lot of riding in a car.
It's ok; only bothers me when we are in the car past midnight. Then it's not fun anymore - it's torture. I should be sleeping and instead I'm folded up into interesting designs (because that's what happens when you are tall and can't sit still and are riding in a very packed minivan), my neck is crooked, and there is no relief. NONE. It becomes a challenge to stay positive.
But it's better when you actually get where you're going and you can stretch your contortions out, lay down, and sleep until you want to get up again.
I think my sleep time record was fifteen hours at one shot. I was back in Texas straight from three months in Thailand, and I slept from 10:00 pm to 1:00 pm the next day. It was absolutely glorious.
But this blog post is not about traveling or sleeping, though at some point I probably should write about each of those topics separately, because they are such a big part of my life. : )
So, about this post's title; to explain, I've always been an extremely curious and thoughtful person, and I have a lot of questions about life. I haven't always known how or who to ask, but I definitely need some answers, so, *gasp for breath* with that in mind, I'm going to let you all in on some of my thoughts, and hopefully we can find answers together. Ok? Let's do it. : )
Today I wanted to write about beauty. I've been doing at lot of reflecting on beauty recently. Of course, for the holidays the retailers are out-doing themselves with their ads, so there's that. Also, if you search "hair" on Pinterest - oh my. There are so many absolutely gorgeous girls out there with the most incredible hair...it's sickening, for those of us who don't naturally look like a glamour magazine.
And today I went to shop for a bridesmaid's dress for the first time, with my best friend. After driving to a pretty run down area on the outskirts of Chattanooga, we stopped where the GPS said to at this sketchy, unmarked old building. I could see through its few windows that there were definitely formal clothes in there, although I wasn't sure they were the kind we were looking for. But although the shop was stuffed with mostly old-fashioned formal clothes and the floor was strewn with newspapers and bits of thread - wonder of wonders! - we did indeed find the dress. I was astonished. And also a little put off by all the satin and crystal and catalogues with barbie-doll girls. I mean, when I tried dresses on, I looked nice, but not that nice!
Why do all the girls look like they were spray painted, dipped in shellac and sprinkled with fairy dust?
Especially since the average, real-life girl like me does not look like that even when wearing a nice dress? Why is there this sort of impossible standard held in front of us girls?
(probably so we will be sure to spend lots of money desperately trying to copy the "models")
What is this "model" girl, anyway? You take this one type of girl and hold her up as the "model" for females, when most other girls can't even hope to look like her?
What about the girls who don't look like the "models"? Are they female rejects because they don't have the right body or face? What is this "right" anyway?
Hello girls! I know you've all had similar thoughts. Sometimes it's really hard to know how to think about beauty.
We can adopt a few different ways to cope with the impossibly gorgeous pictures pushed at us.
1. I will do whatever it takes to look like that. It doesn't matter if I go into debt, fry my hair, kill my skin's natural pH, or cut off my circulation - I will reach that standard!!
2. I give up already. I'll never look that good, so I'm not even going to try. It's hair pulled back tight, no-effort outfits, and lots of talking about how the right guy will only be attracted to my character, not my looks.
3. I have more valuable qualities than beauty, so I don't need to try to look nice. I am talented, I am smart, I can argue, I have personality and I don't care if I'm pretty or not! I don't match? Whatever.
4. Inward beauty is more important than looking nice. And this is true, to an extent. I'm not bashing that. I'm talking about girls who try to show their piety by their lack of concern for outward appearance.
Where is the balance here? Are any of those responses good ones?
What is beauty about, anyway? I know how girls are - we grow up peeking in every reflective surface
and constantly wondering, am I pretty?
It's not that obsessive for all of us, but even the ones who don't seem to care ask the same question.
Am I pretty?
There's really no use asking why it matters, because the unequivocal truth is that it does matter immensely to every girl - even the pious ones - because beauty is unconsciously equated with personal value. (I know guys have their own issues...but I can't speak knowledgeably about that)
And the maddening part is that even the girls who everyone else sees as being pretty don't see themselves like that. It doesn't matter how many people tell me I should be a model; I don't see myself like that. All I see when I look in the mirror are my flaws.
WHAT IS THIS? It's insane. Absolutely insanity. Discontent, jealousy, pride, selfishness, all of that.
So I can say, "Let's ditch the whole thing. Let's not try to look nice at all. I'm going to go join the pious girls by wearing woolen socks and jumpers. I'll tie my hair back in a bandanna and probably not even bother with deodorant. I won't even have to shave my legs anymore because no one will see them! It's ok; the right man will certainly be attracted to my bread-making and scripture memorization skills."
Well...from my reading of the Bible and the Spirit of Prophecy, it doesn't seem like that's God's plan for women, either.
That just sounds like laziness and lack of personal dignity.
But what is God's plan for women and beauty, anyway? I am growing more and more disillusioned with the "model" women concept and more curious about what my Creator's concept of beauty is.
I know He loves beauty, and He gave us an eye to appreciate it.
How can we, as women, give God glory though our varied and natural beauty?
I have so many questions about this topic, it's ridiculous. Of course, the more I ask other people, the more confusing answers I get. Honestly, I'm done asking guys what they think the difference is between beauty and lust. I'm tired of asking people about modesty.
The fact is, I'm really burned by the modesty concept. It seems that modesty in Christian circles is equated with frumpy and cheap clothing. Although there are many fine girls with beautiful characters who dress like this, they don't really make great first impressions.
Ok, so enough with the thinking out loud. It's obvious I don't have this figured out yet. Sorry for the lack of a tight conclusion.
I guess I'll put this out there for you all to think about and answer.
What is the balance between vanity and personal care?
Why is female beauty so important to our culture, and how should we relate to it as Christians?
How should young women relate to it?
I'm thinking of the Biblical principle that beauty should come not from outward accessories but from an inward beauty of character. I fully believe this is true; but I'm wondering where outward beauty comes in and where the balance is between letting the character shine, and letting the appearance slide.
But I don't want any personal opinions here; I want to know what God says.
So now I will go and do some research. I'll let you all know what I find.
It's ok; only bothers me when we are in the car past midnight. Then it's not fun anymore - it's torture. I should be sleeping and instead I'm folded up into interesting designs (because that's what happens when you are tall and can't sit still and are riding in a very packed minivan), my neck is crooked, and there is no relief. NONE. It becomes a challenge to stay positive.
But it's better when you actually get where you're going and you can stretch your contortions out, lay down, and sleep until you want to get up again.
I think my sleep time record was fifteen hours at one shot. I was back in Texas straight from three months in Thailand, and I slept from 10:00 pm to 1:00 pm the next day. It was absolutely glorious.
But this blog post is not about traveling or sleeping, though at some point I probably should write about each of those topics separately, because they are such a big part of my life. : )
So, about this post's title; to explain, I've always been an extremely curious and thoughtful person, and I have a lot of questions about life. I haven't always known how or who to ask, but I definitely need some answers, so, *gasp for breath* with that in mind, I'm going to let you all in on some of my thoughts, and hopefully we can find answers together. Ok? Let's do it. : )
Today I wanted to write about beauty. I've been doing at lot of reflecting on beauty recently. Of course, for the holidays the retailers are out-doing themselves with their ads, so there's that. Also, if you search "hair" on Pinterest - oh my. There are so many absolutely gorgeous girls out there with the most incredible hair...it's sickening, for those of us who don't naturally look like a glamour magazine.
And today I went to shop for a bridesmaid's dress for the first time, with my best friend. After driving to a pretty run down area on the outskirts of Chattanooga, we stopped where the GPS said to at this sketchy, unmarked old building. I could see through its few windows that there were definitely formal clothes in there, although I wasn't sure they were the kind we were looking for. But although the shop was stuffed with mostly old-fashioned formal clothes and the floor was strewn with newspapers and bits of thread - wonder of wonders! - we did indeed find the dress. I was astonished. And also a little put off by all the satin and crystal and catalogues with barbie-doll girls. I mean, when I tried dresses on, I looked nice, but not that nice!
Why do all the girls look like they were spray painted, dipped in shellac and sprinkled with fairy dust?
Especially since the average, real-life girl like me does not look like that even when wearing a nice dress? Why is there this sort of impossible standard held in front of us girls?
(probably so we will be sure to spend lots of money desperately trying to copy the "models")
What is this "model" girl, anyway? You take this one type of girl and hold her up as the "model" for females, when most other girls can't even hope to look like her?
What about the girls who don't look like the "models"? Are they female rejects because they don't have the right body or face? What is this "right" anyway?
Hello girls! I know you've all had similar thoughts. Sometimes it's really hard to know how to think about beauty.
We can adopt a few different ways to cope with the impossibly gorgeous pictures pushed at us.
1. I will do whatever it takes to look like that. It doesn't matter if I go into debt, fry my hair, kill my skin's natural pH, or cut off my circulation - I will reach that standard!!
2. I give up already. I'll never look that good, so I'm not even going to try. It's hair pulled back tight, no-effort outfits, and lots of talking about how the right guy will only be attracted to my character, not my looks.
3. I have more valuable qualities than beauty, so I don't need to try to look nice. I am talented, I am smart, I can argue, I have personality and I don't care if I'm pretty or not! I don't match? Whatever.
4. Inward beauty is more important than looking nice. And this is true, to an extent. I'm not bashing that. I'm talking about girls who try to show their piety by their lack of concern for outward appearance.
Where is the balance here? Are any of those responses good ones?
What is beauty about, anyway? I know how girls are - we grow up peeking in every reflective surface
and constantly wondering, am I pretty?
It's not that obsessive for all of us, but even the ones who don't seem to care ask the same question.
Am I pretty?
There's really no use asking why it matters, because the unequivocal truth is that it does matter immensely to every girl - even the pious ones - because beauty is unconsciously equated with personal value. (I know guys have their own issues...but I can't speak knowledgeably about that)
And the maddening part is that even the girls who everyone else sees as being pretty don't see themselves like that. It doesn't matter how many people tell me I should be a model; I don't see myself like that. All I see when I look in the mirror are my flaws.
WHAT IS THIS? It's insane. Absolutely insanity. Discontent, jealousy, pride, selfishness, all of that.
So I can say, "Let's ditch the whole thing. Let's not try to look nice at all. I'm going to go join the pious girls by wearing woolen socks and jumpers. I'll tie my hair back in a bandanna and probably not even bother with deodorant. I won't even have to shave my legs anymore because no one will see them! It's ok; the right man will certainly be attracted to my bread-making and scripture memorization skills."
Well...from my reading of the Bible and the Spirit of Prophecy, it doesn't seem like that's God's plan for women, either.
That just sounds like laziness and lack of personal dignity.
But what is God's plan for women and beauty, anyway? I am growing more and more disillusioned with the "model" women concept and more curious about what my Creator's concept of beauty is.
I know He loves beauty, and He gave us an eye to appreciate it.
How can we, as women, give God glory though our varied and natural beauty?
I have so many questions about this topic, it's ridiculous. Of course, the more I ask other people, the more confusing answers I get. Honestly, I'm done asking guys what they think the difference is between beauty and lust. I'm tired of asking people about modesty.
The fact is, I'm really burned by the modesty concept. It seems that modesty in Christian circles is equated with frumpy and cheap clothing. Although there are many fine girls with beautiful characters who dress like this, they don't really make great first impressions.
Ok, so enough with the thinking out loud. It's obvious I don't have this figured out yet. Sorry for the lack of a tight conclusion.
I guess I'll put this out there for you all to think about and answer.
What is the balance between vanity and personal care?
Why is female beauty so important to our culture, and how should we relate to it as Christians?
How should young women relate to it?
I'm thinking of the Biblical principle that beauty should come not from outward accessories but from an inward beauty of character. I fully believe this is true; but I'm wondering where outward beauty comes in and where the balance is between letting the character shine, and letting the appearance slide.
But I don't want any personal opinions here; I want to know what God says.
So now I will go and do some research. I'll let you all know what I find.
The thought that jumped into my mind when reading the ending of your post just now is what a Baptist preacher said once when he was talking about 1 Sam. 16:7, "...man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart." He pointed out that as a Christian, he has a responsibility to the world to be honest enough to make sure that his outward appearance matches his heart as much as possible, since the world can't see his heart. I think that basic principle applies to this topic, too. (And my friend, you ARE beautiful!) ;)
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