And...We're Back!

Transitioning out of survival mode, I'm casting about for things to do to prevent me from sleeping all day.

Usually college students freak out during finals week, but I find that to be super unnecessary and counterproductive. In my mind, the only reason why you would need to worry about finals is if you haven't been paying attention in class the whole semester, or if you want to get a grade that doesn't really reflect the effort you've put in the whole semester. Yea. I also know that whatever I cram into my short term memory to get the A will stay on the exam paper when I walk out the door. I'll never remember it again. Case in point; I had to memorize a quote for an exam, and I studied it for about one minute before the test, remembered it perfectly, wrote it down, and promptly forgot it. What's the point in that!? Finals merely exercise my ability to put meaningless information into short memory, and then spit it out intact and undisturbed. Or my ability to make very accurate guesses. Or make up a response that makes it sound like I know the material.

That's why I like finals. They are a pleasant short rush of adrenaline, a challenge, and then they're finished. If I fail the final, I'm not worried, because my grade is composed of everything I've done the whole semester. Too bad for me if I didn't do much.

So I have time to write. This year's graduation season has been very quiet. Seems like the graduates just want to finish without any drama or memory making. I've already signed pretty much all of the year books. Finished my homework. Don't have anything to do now. It makes me anxious, after always needing to be somewhere, doing something.

This semester has been my first as a dorm student. The past few years I have lived in my own room, at home, since my parents live on campus. I wanted to be a full-fledged college student before I graduated, so I paid to live in the dorm and eat cafe food. It was worth it, to me. The beginning of the semester, I had a roommate, but she left school before I got to know her. Then I was pleasantly alone for a few months. I had my friends next door, but all my own quiet space.
Then a few weeks before graduation, I was asked to move out and into the room with my friends next door to make room for some graduates returning from practicum.

I was exhausted after head-leading a program for three weeks, then working long days in San Antonio at a Your Best Pathway to Health event, and trying to take a nap in my nice quiet room. It was raining outside, and I thought I could finally relax and forget my stressors for a few minutes. Then my dean came in and very apologetically woke me up and explained the situation. At first, I just wanted to run away back to my room at home since I would have to do that any ways in a few weeks after grad. However, my friends next door convinced me to move in with them, and since then I've had so much fun.

Sarah and Teresa and I have the funniest group dynamics. Ever. Teresa is demure, deep, and fastidious about keeping her area of the room neat. Sarah is lady-like, blunt, and tender-hearted. I am whatever I am. It depends on the day. We are all in our twenties, but when we get together, we lose about ten years each. No one really knows just how silly we get because it stays between us, but we are so comfortable talking in silly voices, pretending to be different people, and doing outrageous things that we don't even think twice about it. Those two girls are honestly the closest things to biological sisters that I have besides my own sister.
Regularly we call each other "Cochina"(Spanish for disgusting person) or "G'nai" (Eritrean for super mean person), or "Silly goosebump" (English for crazy person). Or they start yelling at me for trying to take a nap. Until finals week, when THEY are all of a sudden tired and taking their own personal naps. Now they're complaining that I am indoctrinating them. I just smile to myself and stay quiet.
 
Usually, a conversation between Teresa and I goes like this: (one of us does something random, like walk into the room wearing wet and muddy clothes. i.e, ME. Teresa would never get wet and muddy unless she was forced to.)

Teresa comments, "You silly goosebump."
"No, you."
"Tu!"
"No, tu."
"Tu."
"NOOO!"
"Aii, cochina!"
"Dont' worry, I'll get pretty! You'll like me ever so much better, then!" I cry in a childish British accent and gingerly cross the carpet to the bathroom.
She just laughs and waves me away like the jungle person I am. Sarah steps into the room, gives me a long twice-over, and then leaves with her nose in the air.
They are my own disciplinary committee when they observe me doing things they don't approve of. They keep me from taking long naps. They bring me food when I don't go to a meal. They go places with me, help me wash my car, spend time with me.
I never realized what a difference it can make in your life when you have people to share everything with you. I'm glad I didn't run away and hide in my room back at home.
Even though we get on each other's nerves, hurt each other's feelings, and sometimes don't want to talk, we're still friends. That's a priceless experience; one I'm so thankful I could have before I graduate.

We said farewell to several staff members a few nights ago. It's a very nice ceremony we have during supper, when we set up a table in front of all the people in the cafe and sit the leaving staff members behind it. Then, different students get up and talk into a microphone to the leaving staff members and tell them what a blessing they've been. Last time wasn't particularly emotional, from what I remember, but this year was. One of our long-term pastor/teachers is leaving, and he's one of the collective student body's favorite staff members ever. We're all wondering how we will survive without him next year.
I actually cried a few tears, although I had to run away and hide to accomplish that. I'm so ashamed about crying in front of people. It's not good.

I'll probably cry for graduation, too, but at least I'll be in the media room where no one can see me.
Anyway, enough sentimentalism.

The summer looms ahead, full of adventure and promise. Canvassing for four weeks in Kentucky...flying around the States or something; who knows what after that? Then, my last year of college.

Then what? TO INFINITY AND BEYOND!!