High Quality Time

Please, notice me!

I pull in to the parking lot just as the music ends, and turn the key. The engine purrs to a stop.
I look up to see one of my students and his father walking to the front door of the school. The dad has his arm around his son's shoulder, and they are talking happily. They pause at the door. The dad hugs and kisses his son, and then the son walks in the door while the dad turns around and returns to his beat up car.
This is a ritual I have seen many mornings; in fact, it has happened every morning for the past few years this student has come to FSCS.
The love between the father and son is so obvious, it's touching.

I climb out of my car and gather up my computer bag, lunch bag, and cell phone. As I walk up to the school building, a tiny little first grader who has also just arrived runs ahead of me and courteously opens the door.

"Thank you, honey!" I exclaim. "You're such a gentleman!"

He dimples and hurries to his classroom. 

As I step into my room, I'm greeted by a student who wants to tell me all about their weekend, ask me questions about why they can't listen to their favorite band during school, and get advice about dreams they've been having.

"I pierced my nose last night," comes the proud announcement. "It hurt, but I don't care. I've done it before."

Lord, they don't teach you how to handle this in college. Give me wisdom. Help me to listen to the heart, not the words.

I take a deep breath, keep my mouth shut, and unpack my computer.

The student continues explaining how it happened, and I nod and listen out of one ear.

Help me not to say what I'm thinking.

The morning rolls forward, and I try to figure out what I'm supposed to do.

The same student complains to me later about the pain in their nose, and begs that being allowed to wear a nose ring is the only solution. 

"Sorry honey," I shake my head sadly, "You know it's not school policy to wear jewelry. I'm sorry your nose hurts, but it was your choice to pierce it. You're gonna have to just deal. There's ice in the freezer if you want to put that on it."

The student whines for a while, but by the end of the day has decided the pain wasn't worth the original thrill of getting a piercing.

Good. Lesson learned, without me letting loose and giving the kid a piece of my mind. 

I didn't speak, because I knew the piercing wasn't the problem. When the heart is troubled, rebuking the outward actions will not do anything. The hurt must first be healed.
And so I was patient and kind. I remembered the inspired statement, "Those who try our patience need most love."
And so I gave the student love instead of my opinion. 

This student has tried my patience this whole semester, but has given me so much opportunity to learn to love. When a student is complaining, chattering, giving attitude, and yet wanting to be near me, they are really just starving for love and asking for it in the only way they know how. Not all students have a father who will walk them to the door and leave them with a hug and a kiss.
Most kids are not given the time they need. They are dropped off at school, which is often a very stressful environment, then left alone in front of a screen for the rest of the day.

No wonder they come to school with issues. 

And I can complain about how parents make my job so hard, or I can do the little I can do to make life sweeter for these kids. I can listen to them, correct them, discipline them, teach them, and be with them, because they desperately need that attention. 

I remember growing up. I always had a problem doing math by myself. I'm a right-brained girl who doesn't naturally understand or appreciate how math has to have one right answer. I struggled with working problems. But there was one thing that would help me get the right answer when doing math, and that was having my mom sit right beside me. She didn't have to say anything; she just had to be there. 

I saw the same thing happen to one of my students in math class today. I gave him his corrected math sheet from yesterday to redo, and after trying, he got the wrong answer again. However, when I sat with him and asked him to redo it with me there, he suddenly noticed what he did wrong and corrected the problem all on his own. Why? What made the difference? Was he feeling loved because I gave him attention and time? Does that literally help the brain solve problems?

I don't know; it's just an untested hypothesis.

All I know is that it seems like others' desire for quality time has been brought across my path often recently. 

When I come home from school, the two house dogs greet me ecstatically. Miley, the Malti-Poo, wriggles all over, and barks until I bend down and pet her. Grim, the Shitzhu, doesn't bark, but runs around my feet hoping to be petted. They really go into spasms, though, when I sit down with them. They love being held, scratched, kissed, played with, basically anything except blowing in their ears. 

If I do not take the time to spend with them, they whine for a while, and then go back to sitting on the couch dejectedly. 

The cat doesn't wait for me to sit down with her. She will follow me, and make me spend time with her. She will jump up on my bed, and climb on me, or rub against my feet until I pick her up. If I ignore her, she will get completely underfoot or lay on top of whatever it is I'm trying to do. All she wants is for me to get down and be with her, pet her, give her my undivided attention. 

This is a sensitive issue for me. One of my pet peeves is when I ask a question, or tap someone on the shoulder and they completely ignore me. I know what it's like to be ignored, and have come up with many creative ways to get a response. It tears me up when others are ignored, left alone, or treated badly, so I can't hardly turn anyone down when they want my attention (within reason, you understand. Sometimes, if it doesn't hurt the person, I have to ignore them). 

I literally put it on my list of routines to accomplish during the day, along with teeth-brushing, and drinking water. I must spend time with the animals when I get home. 

Which is basically what the kids want, too. Undivided attention. 

Maybe that's a basic need.

If the need for quality time is really such a big part of life, which I'm realizing it is, maybe God made us that way for a reason. Maybe He created us to want His undivided attention, and maybe He wants our undivided attention, also.

I don't know; I'm just speculating. Maybe that's why He promises to dwell with His people, and has given us a whole day every week to spend with Him. 

Quality time with God is important; even more so than the need for human quality time. 

I was driving to school earlier than normal one morning, and ended up behind a school bus, which had to stop at almost every other house to pick up a kid. At the end of one driveway, a couple of middle-school girls were just getting out of their parent's car, and quickly climbed on the bus. 

That's sweet of their parents to drive them the few hundred feet to the end of the driveway, I smiled. 

The bus picked up speed again, then slowed a few houses later. At the end of this driveway, a tiny little boy was standing, his jacket falling off his shoulders, and his backpack sitting at his feet. 

The bus stopped and opened the doors as the little boy swung his backpack over his shoulder, almost losing his balance. He looked both ways up the road, and then shuffled across to the open door. My heart broke to see him climb on the bus alone. He was so little; how could his parents even let him cross the street by himself? The house was just over a curve; it would have been impossible for an incoming car to see the bus or stop. Yet I knew, this kid risked it alone every morning. 

And getting on the bus was probably the least of his worries for the day. 

As the bus started up again, I shifted into second gear and noticed tears were running down my face. 

I was crying for the little kid who had to go to school alone.

And as I thought about it later, maybe God was too. 

I determined that for whatever people or animals are in my care, I will not neglect them, no matter what. Even if I feel that I have nothing to offer; the very least I can give is my time and attention. 

God gives you His undivided attention, too. He will not neglect any He died to redeem. 

If you feel that no one sees you, remember Who is always watching. God is the kind of parent that would drive you to the end of your driveway to meet the bus. He would walk with you to the front door and give you a hug and kiss before you go. 

He's the kind of parent that would would be overjoyed to see you again when you get home. 

God loves you, and He's waiting to spend time with you. Take advantage of the opportunities He's given on the weekend and each day. Let Him pull your heart to Him every hour. 

Don't force it; just remember that God actually wants to spend time with you. You don't have to convince Him or use any of your creative methods to get His attention. Just talk to Him, and He will give you His undivided attention. 

Quality time with God, the Creator and Upholder of the universe? What other religion offers that? And yet, it's a truth greater than human religions. Your Creator loves to spend time with you.

Why not spend time with Him and those He's given you to love? It's really one of the only things that count in this life.

Don't lose the opportunities you have, while you have them.