Strong Medicine
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| Wheat Grass, Fire Cider (my mom's anti-sickness potion) and Liquid Chlorophyll in Nutchella Milk. This is what I attempted to drink when I was getting sick last week. IT. WAS. DISGUSTING. Why does good medicine have to be so...unpleasant? |
Recently, I made a choice without thinking about how it would look from the outside or how it would affect others. I have a problem with either thinking too much about a decision, or not thinking enough. This time, I didn't think enough. I gave the wrong impression, all the while convinced I had good motives.
I was self-decieved, and I'm very ashamed that could happen to me. I thought I knew myself better; I thought I was more mature.
It's very unsettling to see your own sinfulness, to say the least. Pride hurts, an awful lot.
But instead of just admitting that I made a mistake, asking forgiveness, and moving on, my pride caused me to catastrophize the situation and beat myself into the ground.
Do you know what I mean?
You think you're being really humble by beating yourself up, but in reality, it's just your pride at work still. Maybe if we condemn ourselves worse than others' rebukes, then they can't hurt us as much. Maybe if we make ourselves feel bad enough, than others will try to comfort us and make us feel better.
It's twisted thinking.
I'm human; I make mistakes. This does not mean that God hates me, or that I'm total failure.
The enemy wants us to look at ourselves and our issues, and forget that we have a Savior who is both willing and able to save us. He forgives even the most shameful of acts, and He is the only One who can rescue us from our deceptive selves.
I can punish myself by shrinking away and hiding from society in shame, or I can admit that I'm a sinner and keep proclaiming that Jesus saves. I think that by running, I would only rob God of the opportunity to show Himself my Savior. I know I don't deserve it in the slightest, but I believe that I have the privilege of holding my head up and living without shame because He forgives me. And not only that; He also lives through me.
You need to see Him save me. This isn't about me, my virtues and faults. It's about Jesus working to save me as an individual; and as you watch this happen, maybe you'll be convinced that He can save you too.
I'm a wretch, it's true. So are you, even if you're a present-truth conservative Adventist, a kind atheist, a Buddhist or a Muslim. So were the Pharisees, the religious "elite" of ancient Israelite culture.
If we don't recognize our total need of Him, how can He save us?
Jesus doesn't want us to wallow in despair at our issues, or self-righteously rationalize our mistakes.
Let's just lay aside our pride, admit we're lost, and look to the Savior.
"If we confess* our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
1 John 1:9
*I used to think that to confess meant to tell Jesus that I am sorry and I won't do it again. Unfortunately, I have discovered that I don't even feel sorry for most of my sins. I can usually find very "good" reasons for why I do what I do. Consequently, I have often held myself back from Jesus because I still enjoy what I'm doing, and I know I would choose it again. When reading this verse and similar ones, I have thought, "How can I expect Jesus to forgive me unless I first stop what I'm doing, or at least feel bad about it?"
The Greek word for "confess" in this verse doesn't mean repent, it means "to acknowledge" or "assent". When I know I'm doing something wrong (it is the Holy Spirit that brings me to that realization), I do not have to wait until I want to stop or until I feel sorry. If I acknowledge to Jesus that I'm doing something wrong, even though I may not be sorry, He will give me the repentance that I do not have. Remember that when the devil tries to keep you from your Savior. Not even a lack of repentance can keep Jesus from saving you. He will supplement all your deficiencies.
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