An Epidemic of Insanity

I don't know exactly who reads my blog, but in case there is some girl out there who is reading this and has been thinking along these lines, here you go -this post is dedicated to you. 

 

Now, although I do try to proof read what I write, I have not taken the time to carefully construct a logical flow of thought. You may find that I bounce around quite a bit, so I'm just preparing you. Follow me, and perhaps if I left some loose ends, you can use them to create your own new trails of thought. 

I grew up a tomboy, never minded getting dirt under my nails, (actually, growing up practicing musical instruments daily made it imperative that I kept my fingernails short), hated wearing dresses, and didn't place physical attractiveness at the top of my list of things to worry about. However, when I got a little older, I realized that certain girls were getting a lot more attention than others. I soon discovered that those girls were what you call "cute" or "pretty". 

At that point I had very short hair, braces, and was a little chubby, so I didn't fit into those categories. At least, I didn't think I did.

I could list in detail all the reasons why, but you know,

1. I don't have hair like those girls that everyone calls pretty.

2. I don't have a face like them...

3. I don't have this or that....like them

So, because they are getting lots of favor and attention, I kind of want to try to look like them. Maybe I'll get the same rewards! 

(Wait! think about it for half a second. Are you absolutely sure you want what all those pretty people have? How do you   know it's better than what you have? What if you could get something better by doing something different?)

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

There seems to be an epidemic of insanity in Arkansas. Actually, it's not just here; it's spread around the globe as far as media has extended its reach. 

Insanity by definition is doing the same thing over and over again, all the while hoping you'll eventually get a different result. 

I could apply this to both genders, but I want to focus on the female side now because it seems that in some respects we are a little more insane than the guys. 

About our appearance, anyways. 

Now, I'll admit straight up front that I care to have a nice appearance. I think it's important for others to see a well-presented Christian, and it reminds me to respect myself too. 

But so often, I am tempted to try to make myself look somehow even better, more attractive, more perfect than I actually am. 

If you are a girl, I'm sure you know what I'm saying.

Today I went to the mall, which has won itself the blue ribbon in my least-favorite-place-to-go category and quickly noticed a vacuum-like sensation sucking on my brain. I walked into a store, and into a veritable forest of garments in various stages of adornment and disrepair. (I could rip up my t-shirt at home for free, and it would look just as great) They were advertised as "flirty", "hot", "fabulous", and so on. The music crooned annoyingly overhead about dancing and doing other various activities all night, and after daring a few fruitless minutes of searching for something worth my money, I left with nothing but a moral headache. Thankfully, I kept my brain, and this is what I took away (for free!) from the many identical yet different stores in the mall:

1. Girls are insane to want to all look like each other, or an airbrushed model! (In fact, who came up with this idea of a "model" person, anyways?)

2. Girls are insane to try look beautiful to get benefits. (What benefit is a repeatedly broken heart or a diseased body, anyway?) 

Ok, so I want attention like that other beautiful girl is getting, so I try to look just like her. I might get the same attention, true, but I did it by betraying myself and lying to everyone else about what I really look like. 

Plus, dancing, sleeping around, and generally wasting all my youthful energy might sound like lots of fun until I look at all the broken people who tried it and discovered the truth. They were insane. And so is the next generation who clearly sees the consequences and yet does the same actions, desperately hoping for different results. 

Life is more than looking or being sexy for as long as possible. 

Should I throw myself away because everyone else is doing it and making it look super fun? 

Anyways, I got on a soap box there. 

I've just been thinking; why should I put my self-worth in how much attention I get? 

I used to experiment with makeup to see if I could achieve that perfect, head-turning look. Yes, it worked. I got lots of complements, more eyes on me, and felt a significant rise in self-esteem. I even got an invitation in the mail to compete for the Miss Somebody-Or-Other-Beautiful-and-Important-in-a-Certain-Region-of-the-Country pageant, and found myself on the floor in my room gloating over it like it was visible proof of victory. I had achieved possibly beautiful status! Should I compete? Should I frame the letter and hang it on the wall? My vanity freaked out for a few glorious minutes. Then I remembered all the things I had heard about modeling and competing and realized I didn't want to be reduced to a criticized, objectified shell of a person, no matter how beautiful I could appear. I didn't want to give my body in exchange for my soul. With a sinking heart, I pondered the fame that could be and realized it wasn't worth the cost. 

Then, in the multitude of my thoughts within me, a calm, quiet voice began speaking. 

"Beauty is vain, and favor is deceitful..."

Yes, and a woman that fears The Lord will be praised...

"Raquel, I still love you, even when you don't think you're beautiful."

Oh. 

Tears welled up in my eyes and rolled down my face unhindered as the reality of His words sank in. I don't have to wear makeup and  look "perfect" in order for Jesus to love me.

If Jesus loves me just as I am, than maybe it's ok for me to be natural. Maybe beauty is not the most attractive thing I can have...maybe I've been deceiving myself this whole time.

That night, I confidently placed the letter in the trash and resolved to learn to fear God. 

It has been a battle for me, since then. 

Self:

Maybe I can wear only a little makeup, that looks natural, and brings out my eyes...I know where I can get natural products without chemicals...

Come on, my skin looks terrible! How is this being a good witness? 

I know God created me with the right hair color, but maybe through the results of sin, my hair color got messed up and needs to be changed... 

I should try wearing blush, then I will look more cheerful and energetic! People will appreciate me more and treat me with more respect! 

Maybe I would feel better about myself if I looked just a little bit more polished...sigh. But I don't want to spend  money on something I know is toxic...

Maybe I would sell more books if I was wearing eyeliner... (Can you believe it?)

No one will like me if I don't look as good as I possibly can. (That's really catastrophizing the situation, isn't it?)

I am not reaching my full potential...

Bla bla bla. Of course, in my head, it all sounds infinitely more convincing and logical.  

Yes, girls think like that. Those false ideas are placed in our minds by the devil and his agents, the Media and other people, and nourished by our own pride and vanity. 

However, and thankfully, the truth has already been stated: beauty and human favor are vain and deceitful. 

They simply aren't going to work out for you, my dear. 

It is said that the eyes are windows to the soul. Putting liner and mascara on while ignoring the emptiness mirrored in your eyes is like putting a lovely dress on a corpse. 

Real beauty comes from knowing God, and thus having a peaceful, happy heart. 

Beauty comes from the visible vitality of Him living His life in me, and believing that He will perfect everything about me." (Psalm 138)

Favor with God and even man too, is achieved by following the selfless example of Jesus.

Yes, girls should take care to look nice, but they must break loose from the cycle of insanity and think about themselves differently. 

I should not try to look youthful, perfect, and pretty so that other girls will be jealous and I'll keep all the guys' attention. Any favor I get from that is only a deception. I am in fact, insulting my Creator, and my own and everyone else's intelligence. 

If I want to have real, genuine praise and beauty, I should seek to fear God above all. His perfect beauty of character will last forever, and never go out of style.