Looking Forward Before it's Begun
I'm laying on the floor with my feet draped over a couch. The room is dark. A dog is barking in the neighborhood. I can hear the faint roars of distant traffic. I am in my grandparents' house, two hours away from home.
A few minutes ago I was laying on my stomach, staring ahead at a globe I was spinning, holding my finger lightly against it.
My mind went back to when I was eight or so. I'm standing in the basement Sabbath School area of my old church with my best friend Austin. We are eagerly taking turns spinning a globe and holding a finger against it until it stops. Wherever the finger points when the globe stops spinning is where we are "going."
"Ooh!! You're going to Africa!"
"Aw man, I want to go to Australia! I'm spinning again."
"Wake island? Where is that??"
"Haha!!! I'm going to the Pacific Ocean!!"
We would spin the globe over and over again, never getting tired of imagining where we would go. He had his heart set on Australia, but I could never make up my mind. I wanted to go everywhere possible.
Now I'm on the brink of adulthood, spinning a globe again, wondering where I'm going.
As the continents slide under my fingertip, I think of the places I've already been, the friends I have around the world. I have a very large and geographically spread-out friend base, and have had a lot.of personal traveling experience for someone my age. As the Middle East goes by, I think of Arabian horses and the mysterious culture of the desert. Africa passes below and I see pictures of elephants and crowds of dark-skinned people singing under a big canvass tent. The Atlantic Ocean rubs my finger and I remember the story of a woman who took a row boat across the Atlantic alone. America slips into view. The world slows and stops. My finger is pointing to Tennessee. I glance around the States and remember canvassing programs, road trips, adventures...my eyes shift over slightly.to.Arkansas, and I think of the family and friends that are waiting there.
I'm so close on the globe. I could just lean my finger to the side and it would touch Arkansas. But that little movement translates into over seven hours of driving.
So close, but yet so far.
Just like my summer. I have no idea where I'm going or what I'm doing. It's only a month or so away, but I still can't see the shoreline. I'm not worried, really; just curious. What are You thinking, God? What can I do right now to be ready?
Relax. I'll get you ready.
Ok.
I keep spinning the globe. Last time I prayed for someone to go with. This time, I feel ready to go alone. Where ever You want me to go...
I have turned down my own dreams of happiness. I'm putting my whole trust in You, believing Your plans are best.
A few minutes ago I was laying on my stomach, staring ahead at a globe I was spinning, holding my finger lightly against it.
My mind went back to when I was eight or so. I'm standing in the basement Sabbath School area of my old church with my best friend Austin. We are eagerly taking turns spinning a globe and holding a finger against it until it stops. Wherever the finger points when the globe stops spinning is where we are "going."
"Ooh!! You're going to Africa!"
"Aw man, I want to go to Australia! I'm spinning again."
"Wake island? Where is that??"
"Haha!!! I'm going to the Pacific Ocean!!"
We would spin the globe over and over again, never getting tired of imagining where we would go. He had his heart set on Australia, but I could never make up my mind. I wanted to go everywhere possible.
Now I'm on the brink of adulthood, spinning a globe again, wondering where I'm going.
As the continents slide under my fingertip, I think of the places I've already been, the friends I have around the world. I have a very large and geographically spread-out friend base, and have had a lot.of personal traveling experience for someone my age. As the Middle East goes by, I think of Arabian horses and the mysterious culture of the desert. Africa passes below and I see pictures of elephants and crowds of dark-skinned people singing under a big canvass tent. The Atlantic Ocean rubs my finger and I remember the story of a woman who took a row boat across the Atlantic alone. America slips into view. The world slows and stops. My finger is pointing to Tennessee. I glance around the States and remember canvassing programs, road trips, adventures...my eyes shift over slightly.to.Arkansas, and I think of the family and friends that are waiting there.
I'm so close on the globe. I could just lean my finger to the side and it would touch Arkansas. But that little movement translates into over seven hours of driving.
So close, but yet so far.
Just like my summer. I have no idea where I'm going or what I'm doing. It's only a month or so away, but I still can't see the shoreline. I'm not worried, really; just curious. What are You thinking, God? What can I do right now to be ready?
Relax. I'll get you ready.
Ok.
I keep spinning the globe. Last time I prayed for someone to go with. This time, I feel ready to go alone. Where ever You want me to go...
I have turned down my own dreams of happiness. I'm putting my whole trust in You, believing Your plans are best.
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